Trip South - Meeting the Family

The majority of this story is extremely personal.  However, there are a few points I'd like to make that may help others to have the best experience possible.

It was big deal in the community for us to arrive.  Imagine how much chaos some white people driving up in a Land Cruiser can cause in a small town not frequented by tourists.  Consequently, everyone wanted to be there and around us.  At one point, we entered into a fenced area and they actually had to gate out people.  Still, there were a lot of people present that, based on the info I had, did not seem to be relevant to our situation.  Of course, they managed to be in nearly every photo and every scene of the video.

Also, I had not really planned on how I was going to get the kind of video and photos that I wanted.  I just handed my equipment over to the other mom.  She did a great job based on me telling her nothing.  However, I would recommend that you discuss ahead of time with others that may be helping you out a general overview of what you are hoping for.  I had also left the other mom in charge of all the AV equipment.  Clearly she couldn't do both.  By the second day/family, we had figured out to take advantage of the kindness of our driver aka videographer extraordinaire (Kind of embarrassing that of all the video that was taken, his videoing was far superior to mine!).

In hindsight, I really wish I had brought my son with us.  I know his family was hoping to see him again. We could've had the opportunity to see him interacting with each of us.  I could've had photos of him with his family for future reference for him.  The reason for not taking him was the long journey.  Yes, I think it would've been rough on him but kids are more resillient than we give them credit for.  I don't think it would've interfered with bonding or traumatized him.  Even if it had, it would've only been a minor step backward.  And, seeing how well he's doing now, it's hard to imagine it being of any lasting consequence.  I don't know if I would feel the same way if he were 2-4 years old, though. 

A lot of things went well, too.  I was able to say most of what I wanted to say.  I gave his family a partially filled album with photos of our family, home, school, etc. The empty slots are for the photos they will receive from us in the future.  (I hoped they viewed this as a guarantee that they would continue to be a part of our boy's life.)  I also gave them an inexpensive locket with his photo in it (to keep him close to the heart at all times).  I think these tokens were appreciated.