Ferengi on Tour Uniform

We travelled to the historic parts of Ethiopia.  The concentration of Ferengi in that area is probably the highest I saw anywhere.  They are also generally Ferengi on Tour!  Consequently, they wear the Ferengi on Tour uniform.

It consists of

• Sandals with Socks
• Hiking Shoes (preferable to Hiking Boots)
• Olive green or Greenish Gray cotton pants.
• Pants, usually khaki, with zip off legs to turn into shorts.
• Fanny pack or Wallet necklace (the wallet that you stick down the front of your shirt)

Now, in my experiences, those green pants are the best for hiding dirt.  Well, not the best.  A nice printed tan, rust and black jungle print would probably do better, but that does not usually come in the Ferengi on Tour Mix and Match Garanimals Pack.  The tan/khaki pants are versatile, but the dirt (or wat sauce if you are feeding kids) shows up too easily.  Black pants (and shirts) are also good, but show the dirt and can get toasty warm if you are sitting in a vehicle on the sunny side for any length of time.

Probably the worst offender for Ferengi on Tour I saw was Mrs. Roper.  Floppy hat, oversized sunglasses, Ferengi attempting to go Abesha by wearing an Abesha scarf, carrying a journal and video camera.  See photo below.

Oops.  That was me.  But, I swear I only looked THAT tacky because my sunscreen disappeared and I didn’t want to get fried.

DV & Cosmo Shops

Throughout the whole country, I saw many signs posted for DV 2008! Everywhere. EVERYWHERE! There were photocopies posted on light posts, on the sides of buildings, on banners strung across buildings, and taped on windows. Of course, being the ignoramus I am, I assumed it was some sort of health program initiative.

Turns out the internet cafes are advertising for people to come there and go online to submit via the USCIS webpage for their chance to be a part of the Diversity Visa Lottery for 2008. (It is only open/available from October to December.)

This photo was taken at a photo printing place. Though I consider myself to be quite a liberal person, I was shocked by the number of Cosmopolitan/GQ advertising type of poses in the photos displayed in all of the shops. It was usually a ratio of 80% Cosmo girl photos to 12% GQ wannabe men to 6% wedding photos and 2% baby/kid shots.

I was able to have photos printed off my digital SD card for 2 ETB each.

Bunny Hutches

 

I saw these bunny hutches in a lot of places in Ethiopia. I thought it quite strange that they had no openings or rabbit turds scattered underneath them. I also thought it was quite odd since I never noticed any rabbits.

It turns out these are not bunny hutches. This is where the security guards stay/sleep!

So Gratifying!

In June, we (me and another Mom) traveled to the Southern Region to visit our children’s families. On the second day, while we waited to meet the other child’s family, we wandered around the town of Durame. I took lots of photos of the vegetation, especially the vibrantly colored flowers. I also took a LOT of photos of the children the followed us around. It was like reverse paparazzi. The person in the front had the camera and all of those behind were trying to get photographed.

Anyway, we had lots of photos of the kids.

One of the best/funniest episodes was when the kids all ran up onto a pile of rocks to pose. As soon as the digital camera clicked/beeped, they flooded down off the pile of rocks to rush over and check out the image. It was actually so entertaining that we made them pose again just so we could get a video of the posing and racing down off the rocks. All in all, they were very lovely, polite, beautiful kids (with a few aggressive teenage boys thrown into the mix)! And, they LOVED seeing their images in the camera.

So, knowing that I would be passing through that town again on this trip, I took copies of the photos with me. In Durame, I stopped in the part of the town that we had taken the majority of the photos. There were many kids still playing there. I’m sure I recognized one of them!!

There were also a couple of police officers in the area. It turned out the one of the police officers remembered us from June!! (He had helped us meet up with the Durame family.) We explained our return to the police officers. Of course, they had to check the backseat to meet the “celebrity” child who now had an American family and had come back to visit his Ethiopian home. Then, we handed them the photos from the previous visit. I told them that “The smiles of the children of Durame brought great joy and happiness to the Americans who saw their photos. Thank you for sharing your children’s beautiful faces and spirit with America. Please give these photos to them.”

The officers were astounded. I was flooded with blessings. My son was flooded with blessings. They were truly appreciative that I had gone out of my way (approximately 1/4 km) to bring the photos to them.

So, if you at all have the opportunity to have your photos printed out and given to the people you photograph, I suggest you do it! The feeling you’ll get in your heart from bringing such joy to others will more than compensate you for the trouble and money invested!

Abesha Prices

I expected to get the special Ferengi discount (that would be a negative discount!) in Ethiopia.  I didn’t know it would be so blatant.   

First example:   Actually, I’m OK with this one because I understand the economics of this one.  The Ferengi airplane ticket for Addis-Bahar Dar-Lalibela-Gondar-Addis was $400.  The Abesha price for the same ticket was $147. Clearly, most Ethiopians don’t have the funds necessary to pay for expensive flights.  Plus, ET Airlines loses money on the domestic flights operations. 

Second example:  Lalibela Orthodox churches are free to visit for all Orthodox Ethiopians.  That makes sense to me…it is their church after all.  Ferengi cost is 200 ETB.  A little steep, but I could handle it.  However, all non-Orthodox Ethiopians are also expected to pay a fee to view the churches.  Do you think there is any kind of scrutinization for Ethiopian Protestants? No proof on this one, but I doubt it.  But, a white person married to an Ethiopian Orthodox still has to pay Ferengi price.  Grrr.  Third example:  The Gondar baggage guy wanted to charge us 4 birr each to carry our small backpacks onto the plane instead of checking them.   

Fourth example:  At the Gondar airport, we were having some soda and cookies in the restaurant.  The bill was 22 ETB.  A little steep but I’m used to airport price gouging.  I headed out as Lekneh paid the bill.  A restaurant employee came rushing over to Lekneh.  My immediate though was “great, what other “fee” are they sticking us for?”   Turns out the employee was refunding Lekneh 4 birr.  They had given us the Ferengi bill, but when it turned out Lekneh was paying the bill we got the Abesha price.

Bugs

Last time I was definitely spoiled by the bug situation…or rather, lack of bugs. 

This time, I was a virtual all-you-can-eat buffet for some type of insect. And, no, I didn’t take malaria medicine.  Don’t lecture me about this. Remember, I was in the Peace Corps and I already got the lecture several times from the Peace Corps nurse.  And, no, I didn’t use mosquito spray.  No justification for that one except Deep Woods Off tastes/smells seriously awful when trying to get a little affection from your Sweety. 

So, my punishment?  My right foot has 22 bites.  The FRONT side of my right leg (excluding my right foot) has 28 bites.  My stomach has 16 bites within 4 inches of my navel.  The belly bites made it very clear to me that this was not a mosquito we were dealing with. 

Also, I, the crazed psycho woman who snapped dirty t-shirts at mosquitoes each night before retiring, would have noticed if there were that many mosquitoes around.  I am pretty sure it was some type of bed bug or flea.  I did find one very tiny critter, oval in shape that sprung when I tried to crush it. 

Now, I have 22 scabby bites on my right foot from scratching so much.  I’m quite the Sicko that I enjoyed the razor scraping the bites as I de-haired my legs.  Somehow, in my freaky, logic-deprived mind, the blood from the razor scraping made my bites itch less.  I did use up a whole tube of hydrocortisone cream.  I would’ve gone through just as much Benadryl, but I had selfish preference for wishing to be conscious for most of my stay in Ethiopia. 

When I told Lekneh that I was no longer going to bathe so that I would become so foul smelling that the bugs would stay away, he laughed.  Then he realized I was serious. 

Worst part?  Lekneh had no bites.  My Abesha son was bit up the first week, but nothing after that.  Man!!!  Even the bugs give Abesha discounts!

Quest for an Injera Cooker

I have rationalized to myself (please don’t clarify for me) that the reason I can’t cook injera is because I didn’t have a proper injera cooker.  It had nothing to do with completely messing up the recipe.  It was because I was using a Teflon coated electric fry pan instead of a clay-based injera cooker. I am well aware of my motivational issues.  Therefore, I knew it was useless to get a charcoal heated cooker for myself.

  Lekneh and I went on a quest to find an electric cooker. On Tuesday, we found a smaller sized one for 650 ETB.  That seemed a little steep for me.  So I dilly-dawdled.  Friday, we couldn’t get access to a vehicle, so on Saturday (the day before I left Ethiopia) we searched again.  The place we went to on Tuesday (Shega something or another on Sarbet Rd) said it was too late to get one. They need to be ordered 2-3 days ahead.  We went to Leggio Aluminium.  Theirs seemed to be good quality, very shiny and I THINK they costed 450 ETB for a small cooker.  The lady was aggressively adamant about the one month lead time to order a cooker.  YES, ONE MONTH.  In a country full of injera, does it really make good economic sense to run your business with a one month lead time on the most common cooking device in the country?  Apparently YES, because they were nut-nut busy on a Saturday morning. 

We then headed to a supermarket/furniture store/appliance center.   They had nothing.  On to the auto parts area of town.  I don’t know why there, but we saw a shop with a partially finished cooker sitting outside.  Lekneh talked to the guy for a while.  The guy seemed a little bit optimistic and said it would be finished by 10 am on Sunday, he would meet us in one of 2 places (??) and it would cost 450 ETB.  I said OK since I was desperate.  We headed home.  Then we saw the injera cookers sitting outside the little metal working shops on Sarbet Road.  10 minutes later, I had a robin’s egg blue painted injera cooker, complete with 220V powered heater and assorted uninsulated wires hanging about. On Sunday, I was flabbergasted when I picked up the cooker to pack it in my bag (hockey goalie bag….big enough for 3 injera cookers!  I think the cooker weighed about 60 pounds. I’m quite confident the open area under the clay surface was insulated with Osmium.  (For you non-Chemistry nerds out there, Osmium is the densest element!) 

I have yet to try out the cooker.  The plug intimidates me.  Actually, as a Safety Manager, the dangling uncapped wires intimidate me more.  I’m a little worried it won’t heat up hot enough on my wussy 110V electrical power.  Of course, I nearly failed electrical engineering 101, so maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about on that. 

Plus, I have to get out my supplies (water and teff) and my notes from Professor Injera during my personal tutoring session.  No, no, no.  It is NOT just mix and wait like I thought.  Watch for the upcoming photo essay on “Cooking Injera with Emaye!”

Updates Coming

Last night, we returned from 3 weeks in Ethiopia.   There was a lot of stuff I felt was unfinished when I left last time. 

I will begin updating this blog again.  Of course, this visit wasn’t directly adoption related, but I’m gonna stick the updates in this blog anyway.

Click on this link to take you to a survey to give me anonymous feedback on what the updated travelogue should include. New Travelogue Survey

Click on this link to see the Survey Results…so far! 

Religion

There were quite a few mosques and churches.  The churches looked to me (a remarkably unreligious person) a lot more like the mosques than I was expecting.  Some of the Orthodox Christians were praying loudly over loudspeakers at assorted times of day. Until someone corrected me, I had assumed they were Muslims praying.

I also saw religious services taking place out in an open area under some trees.

Because of my short stay, I did not have the opportunity to participate in any religious services.   I would recommend that everyone, even if you are not normally religious, seek out a service to attend.

  

Signs

Many signs in Addis were in both English and Amharic.  Of course, the further from Addis we were, the less English there was.  I wish I had taken more photos of the signs.

This sign was just on the South side of Addis.

I’m pretty sure all of the green road signs had the city names written in Roman letters (English).

  

Notice the ditch/gulley bridge on the bottom right.

This was outside the prison in the Durame area. I have no idea what it says. Knowing my luck it probably says, “any persons photographing government installations, property or signage will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  Don’t even think about posting this on the Internet.”

Vehicle Emissions, Dust

The amount of vehicle exhaust in Addis almost overwhelmed me on a few occasions.  I did notice myself getting a headache when we were stuck in traffic and the clouds of exhaust surrounded us.  I think the mountains surrounding the city may prevent more efficient dissipation of pollution as well.

Outside the city, the air pollution was minimal.  Certainly, we were able to visually see the emissions from the vehicle, but the bigger factor was the road dust.  (Rainy Season had not started yet.) At some points, it did get bad enough that we had to roll up the windows.  I was able to turn a Wet Wipe completely brown when I wiped the dust off my face.  When I washed my hair, the first round of shampoo rinsed out grayish-brown.   Because of the suds color, I actually had to check to see if the shampoo started out purple.  (It started out pale green.)  Second washing was a lighter gray-brown sudsing.  Third washing was back to white suds.

I would definitely take the dust over the pollution, though.

However, part of my job is Environmental Management AND I live next to a State Park in a small town away from heavy industry.  So, I freely admit I am a snob about air pollution.

Rain

While I was there, it only rained 2 times that I recall.  One time was a pretty heavy downpour as we were driving back to Addis.  I don’t think it lasted for more than 20 minutes.  It was quite amazing to see sheets of water gushing down hills and roads. 

After seeing the voracity of the rain, the erosion  problems became much more understandable.  The rain did clear the air a lot, though!  I really appreciated that.

The only other time was a light rain, barely greater than a mist as we were walking to the Goodbye Ceremony.

Rainy Season starts in June.  I wonder just how different things are depending on whether you are there before, during or after rainy season.

Random Bits-n-Pieces

This entry is for little interesting bits…not in any order. 

GREENHOUSES:

A couple times I saw HUGE greenhouse complexes.  One was so enormous I could not see the end of the buildings.  The greenhouses I saw were used to raise flowers for export.  I don’t know which kind, though.

LICENSE PLATES: 

 

The license plates on the vehicles are color coded with either blue, black, or green registration numbers. Maybe there are more colors, but I don’t know. The color indicates if it is a regular vehicle, commercial vehicle, NGO or diplomat.  With the diplomatic vehicles, the diplomat’s country is identified by the first numbers on the vehicle.  So, theoretically, everyone would know a U.S. diplomatic vehicle by the license plates (no flags or magnetized door-signs with Bush’s face required!).

VEHICLE DRIVING:

They drive on the right side of the road (mostly).  All the vehicles I saw were manual transmission.  I didn’t see any American-style semi-trucks.  But, there were a lot of the commercial straight trucks/flatbeds.  Not infrequently, I saw a person sitting on top of the load while it was driving (sometimes at 45+ mph).

SCAFFOLDING:

There were a lot of buildings under construction.  Most appeared to be primarily concrete-based. The scaffolding used was rough-hewn sticks/logs.

DONKEYS:

Donkeys were everywhere. They seemed much better behaved and trained than any American donkey I’ve come across. They carried everything!  There were specially built harness/carriers that hauled specific items, anything from water jugs to big rocks.

I’ve lived and traveled in Africa.  I was pretty cocky about having seen everything (goats on the bus roof, chickens in a gunny sack, toddlers sticking hands down my shirt looking for a hit of milk), but even my eyes bugged out when I saw the donkey-bale.  The donkeys were completely loaded with straw walking down the street.  The only thing I could see was the head and the bottom 6 inches of its front legs.  (Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture from the front side.) It seriously looked like the straw (or maybe it was grass) went completely around the donkey.

We also saw 2 donkeys loaded up with goods jogging down the street without a person in sight.  Of course, I did a double-take and my head literally whipped around to see if that’s what I was really seeing.  Were they donkeys on the lam, looking for a new gig? When I asked where the people were, Elsae laughed and said the donkey knows how to get home!  I asked, “How?”  He said, “They just know.”

WOOD FOR SALE:

Outside of Addis, there were a lot of people I saw selling wood.  There were often piles of eucalyptus on the side of the road to be used for firewood.  There is a special hand signal the vendors (usually boys standing by the side of the road) use that means, “Hey. Stop here.  I have too much wood.  You need to buy from me.”  I thought they were just trying to hitchhike.

There were also piles of eucalyptus wood that seemed to be intended for home construction.

GRAVES:

While we were driving outside of Addis, periodically we saw small collections of above ground coffins/headstones, like a sarcophagus.  We did see a funeral procession with the coffin strapped to the top of the vehicle and 50+ people singing, wailing and praying while they walked along with the vehicle as they headed to the gravesite.

TREE CLIMBERS:

This person was climbing the tree to trim off limbs that were near power lines. 

And, yes, the two men on the bottom of the photo were laughing at us because we stopped to take a picture.  But hey!  One of my travelmates is a professional tree climber.  We needed the photo.

COFFEE TEA:

The leaves from the coffee plant were dried and crumbled up to make a tea.  So, the next time someone asks me, “Coffee, Tea or Milk?” I can answer, “Yes!”

What about the 19 month olds?

My son was 19 months old when I picked him up.  He had been at one of the care centers for the previous 4 months.  Some specifics on him at that time:

1. He was sort of potty trained. If he was sat on a potty chair, he usually responded.  However, he also went when he wasn’t sitting on the potty chair.
2. He weighed 26 pounds.  He was snug in the size 3 diapers.  The diapers sort of presented a challenge because to be tight they had to go under his pot belly.  But, then they hung a little loose on the legs (not good for loose stools!).  If I strapped the diaper over his belly, it slid down anyway.  Size 4 works much better.
3. He drank out of a regular cup.  But, he had spills when he was over-eager.  The cheap sippy cups and sports bottles (like bicycle water bottles) worked very well.  I really like the sports bottles because they closed and because I could also drink out of them without looking a nutter.  They were also handy for traveling. The fancier sippy cups with the flanges and inserts and whatever else were hard for him to figure out and the liquid didn’t flow fast enough even after he did.
4. He had a size 5-wide foot (but was wearing a size 7 shoe).  He walks much better with his a size 5 shoe on.  Sandals were a great idea because they are able to be form-fitted and are more forgiving when they aren’t exactly the right size.
5. Most of the 18 month old clothes were just right or snug.  The footy 18 month jammies were too small.  The 2T clothes worked well. Keep in mind, he was probably the chunkiest kid there.  Or, as I hear in America, “Oooh.  He’s solid.”
6. He refused (and still refuses) to wear a hat.
7. He was walking by himself, climbing steps with no problem and putting on his own shoes.
8. He took/takes a 2+ hour nap and sleeps through the night.
9. I used plastic bibs (with the catch pocket on the bottom) because of the messy eating.  They were handy to rinse off when I was done.  He’s quite a pro at using the injera to scoop up the wat (or, the American version:  using a tortilla to scoop up the taco meat).

 

Trip South - Travel Arrangements

I had decided to visit my son’s family as soon as I knew it was a possibility.  I mentioned it to Jan via email before I left and I told Asnake on Monday morning when I had the standard meeting with him.

On Tuesday, one of the other families told me the arrangements had been made.  The four families that were picking up children that week would all be traveling to Hossana and beyond to visit the families.  They decided to split us into 2 groups because of the final destination (family locations).  He told me the trip would cost us 1000 birr each and to be ready at 8am to go.  All of this was relayed to me by another parent so I was a little wary of it really happening.

On Wednesday morning shortly before 8:00am, the vehicles showed up at the guesthouse.  (The family that was staying at the Ghion met us at the guesthouse).  They brought a Toyota pickup truck (with backseat) and a Toyota Land Cruiser. I went with another mom in the Land Cruiser with our driver, Lekneh.After dropping off a child at the care center (and changing money…because I forgot to do so the previous day), we gassed up.  The other driver asked for an “advance payment” of 500 birr to pay for the gas, which we gave.  The rest was due upon return.  However, when we gassed up again in Hossana, we paid 500 birr again (1000 out of 2000 birr total at that point).

We paid the balance when we were returned to the Guesthouse on Thursday evening. 

Lekneh told me the company he worked for is called Tadesse Car Rental.   For anyone needing a driver, I would recommend them.  You can find contact information on the page for Tadesse Car Rental.

Trip South - Our Driver

One of the most important lessons I learned (but not quite soon enough) was to exploit the knowledge of the people around you.  On the way South, I sat in the backseat with the other Mom.  One of us should’ve sat in the front seat.  Two reasons:  better views and easier conversation.

Our driver, Lekeneh, was a bit hesitant to speak at first.  I guess us obnoxious Americans can be intimidating.  However, he was so great about answering every question we asked, pulling over everytime we wanted to take a photo and apologizing for the rough road.

We had a great time in the evening, see the Travel - Evening Activities post for more info on that.  So,  by the second day we were much more familiar with each other and friendlier.  We completely took advantage of his services by making him the videographer while I photographed.

He told us a lot of stories, too.  He used to be a lorry-driver, long-haul to Djibouti.  When he started telling us about how some of the drivers would chew chat to keep them awake and then demonstrated the effect it had on them, I about bust a gut.  It was even funnier for the next 5 km as I repeatedly tried to get a photo of him re-demonstrating and re-demonstrating the CHAT FACE.  My camera was on the red-eye setting so it kept double flashing and missing the face, plus it was messed up because it was sensing the bright light outside his window.  Stinkin’ technology!  Apparently, he couldn’t hold the CHAT FACE pose because of the potholes and donkeys he had to watch out for.  Visualize real life Pole Position.  Quite possibly, my very unladylike laughing snorts may have been distracting him as well.

1. Not good enough.  Looks too normal.
2. Better, but too humorous.
3. What’s up with the squinty eyes?
4. Nope.  Just a smilin’ profile.  Did you give up trying or what?
5. Better, but I can’t see your bug out eyes.
6. Way off.  Looks like a hitman.

   7. THERE YOU GO!  WE HAVE CHAT FACE!!

OK, this may not seem funny to you, but try 5 days of not sleeping right and a possible concussion from hitting your head on the truck ceiling (courtesy of an unexpected pothole) and you will also find this absolutely hillarious!!

Note to Lekeneh’s boss (and other future passengers):  He doesn’t use CHAT.  He was just demonstrating the face for us!!

Note to others:  CHAT is a plant that you can chew (like Skoal) that affects you like amphetamines might.  Rumor also says that it boosts male fertility.

Lekeneh took us out to the craft/souvenir shops when we returned to Addis and bartered for us.  And, he carried our bags.  (Hello?!!  American husbands, pay attention here!  He carried our bags… willingly… without us asking first!)  If Marta hadn’t called around 5pm on Thursday to remind us that we had to be to the Crown Hotel in a short while, I’m pretty sure our adventure would only have gotten more interesting.

I am quite sure that we were his favorite passengers EVER!  I simply must believe that because my ego would be crushed to think that everybody gets this kind of service.

Post script: I warned Lekeneh that I posted his chat face on the Internet. He has agreed to demonstrate chat face to any future passengers upon their request. So, if you use Tadesse car rental and get Lekeneh as a driver, make sure you hold him to that promise!!  Contact info can be found on the Tadesse Car Rental page.

Biggest Regret

Hindsight is 20/20. 

I should have brought my 5 year old son on the trip with me.  (Excuse me, 5 1/2 year old son.  If you have a child this age, you KNOW why the 1/2 is important!)

I should have had a lot more faith in him, his intelligence and his emotional capacity than I did.

A little background: 

He is my biological son.  His father (my ex-H) is African (not Ethiopian, from a Southern African country).  He has grown up knowing about his relatives in Africa his whole life, but has never met them.  He asks very intelligent questions about Africa and likes to understand the differences.  I lived in Swaziland, but his Dad is from a different country so he wants to know how they are different but still all Africa.  He is extremely proud every time I go to one of his classes to talk about Swaziland. We all (Me, him, his Dad and older half-brother) live in a mostly white community in the Midwest. 

When debating whether to take him or not, a few things were the main factors.

• Cost.  Looking back now, this was a really dumb reason.  An extra $1200 in the whole scheme of things wouldn’t really have mattered much.
• Fear for his Reaction/Self-Evaluation.  He has not been exposed to a lot of black people in his life on a regular basis.  Having not been to Ethiopia before, I could only form an opinion based on what other people have said/written.  I was very afraid that he would see a destitute country of begging, extreme poverty, and sickness that he would characterize as the way African people (his people) are.  I didn’t want him to associate his heritage with negative or depressing feelings/emotions.  Having seen and experienced Ethiopia for myself, I realize this should not have been a major consideration at all.
• Travel/logistics in Ethiopia. I didn’t know the travel condition in-country, the accommodations, the ability to move about with a child, etc.   I was concerned about him toughing out less than ideal conditions.  Also shouldn’t have been a major consideration.

One of the biggest issues for him is trying to get a handle on why his brother’s family can no longer take care of him and why adoption resulted.  The explanation of “they are too poor” to feed, care for him is basically incomprehensible to him.  I really wish he could understand the difference between real poverty and his likely concept of being poor (no money to buy a toy every time we go to the store). 

As a side note, we went swimming the other day with his friend.  His friend asked if we could go to McDonald’s afterwards.  I said no because I didn’t bring any money for that.  The friend started whining.  My son jumped in and said, “Stop it.  My mom doesn’t go to her job now.  She doesn’t got any money.”  {I’m on unpaid FMLA leave at this point.}  Initially, I was quite proud of him.  Then I started to get worried that he might be thinking we would become poor if I spent all our money at McDonald’s and he would have to be placed for adoption. 

I think if he could have seen the conditions, he would understand more.  And, I think it would have increased his empathy for others and his appreciation for what he has.  There are so many positive things I saw, including the hardworking, loving nature of so many people that could have ballooned the pride he has in his African heritage.

Also, my impression of Ethiopia was not one of devastating poverty.  There were certainly opportunities to see sights that showed poverty and sickness, but I don’t think it was pervasive like some people make it out to be.  Of course, I lived in the bush of Swaziland for 2.5 years, so I may have a different perspective.

The in-country travel was not that bad.  I think the whole idea of kids going somewhere in a vehicle without their seatbelts on (and me allowing it to happen) may have set his whole view of the world off kilter, but other than that he would do fine.  The agency was very accommodating about getting us where we needed/wanted to be and I don’t think the addition of a 5 year old would have affected this.  However, he is a flexible child.  He is very low maintenance.  He likes camping and hiking.  I think he would’ve seen the potholes and crazy driving as an adventure.  I don’t think he would’ve cared if we had to wait a long time at the embassy as long as he had other kids to play with.

I think if he had been there, the transition for my new son would’ve been even smoother.  However, things are going very well.  There is so much mutual adoration between them.  (See photo documentation below.) The older one looks out for the little one like a mother hen and always refers to him as, “my baby brother.”  The younger one copies EVERYTHING the older one does.  The older one doesn’t even mind…even when his friends are over.  The friends have been given very firm instructions about what is or is not OK to do around or to HIS baby brother.

Honestly, reflecting back, the only thing that would concern me about him traveling with me is that I KNOW he would’ve been extremely concerned about the kids that were still at the orphanage when we left.  I don’t know if I would really be able to assure him that they do have families coming to get them soon (and, NO, we can’t take them home with us and just have their Mom and Dad pick them up at our house).

This is really the only major thing that I regret or wish I had done differently, but it is a BIG ONE. (I also wish I had taken my new son with me to visit his family, but that doesn’t weigh quite as heavily on me.)

Once this adoption stuff is paid off, we will keep living frugally so we can save up money for ALL of us to go back to Ethiopia.

They are like velcro brothers!

Swimming. Guess who’s the best boat tower around?

Laughing in bed instead of sleeping.

If one brushes, the other will.

The 2006 Strawberry King (and his helper elf).

The best stroller pusher around.

Showing off/bragging about his new brother at summer school.

Swinging together.

The best thing about having a brother?  A hiney softer than a pillow (apparently).

Trip South - Meeting the Family

The majority of this story is extremely personal.  However, there are a few points I'd like to make that may help others to have the best experience possible.

It was big deal in the community for us to arrive.  Imagine how much chaos some white people driving up in a Land Cruiser can cause in a small town not frequented by tourists.  Consequently, everyone wanted to be there and around us.  At one point, we entered into a fenced area and they actually had to gate out people.  Still, there were a lot of people present that, based on the info I had, did not seem to be relevant to our situation.  Of course, they managed to be in nearly every photo and every scene of the video.

Also, I had not really planned on how I was going to get the kind of video and photos that I wanted.  I just handed my equipment over to the other mom.  She did a great job based on me telling her nothing.  However, I would recommend that you discuss ahead of time with others that may be helping you out a general overview of what you are hoping for.  I had also left the other mom in charge of all the AV equipment.  Clearly she couldn't do both.  By the second day/family, we had figured out to take advantage of the kindness of our driver aka videographer extraordinaire (Kind of embarrassing that of all the video that was taken, his videoing was far superior to mine!).

In hindsight, I really wish I had brought my son with us.  I know his family was hoping to see him again. We could've had the opportunity to see him interacting with each of us.  I could've had photos of him with his family for future reference for him.  The reason for not taking him was the long journey.  Yes, I think it would've been rough on him but kids are more resillient than we give them credit for.  I don't think it would've interfered with bonding or traumatized him.  Even if it had, it would've only been a minor step backward.  And, seeing how well he's doing now, it's hard to imagine it being of any lasting consequence.  I don't know if I would feel the same way if he were 2-4 years old, though. 

A lot of things went well, too.  I was able to say most of what I wanted to say.  I gave his family a partially filled album with photos of our family, home, school, etc. The empty slots are for the photos they will receive from us in the future.  (I hoped they viewed this as a guarantee that they would continue to be a part of our boy's life.)  I also gave them an inexpensive locket with his photo in it (to keep him close to the heart at all times).  I think these tokens were appreciated. 

Trip South - Motivation

As soon as I learned that my child-to-be had a known family, I decided I wanted to visit with them.

Although I clearly wanted to learn more about his background so that I could convey it to him in the future, my main motivation was for his family.

It is absolutely incomprehensible to me the emotional and physical situation they must've been in to reach the point that they needed to even consider adoption.  I can't imagine how much faith they would need to trust that everything would turn out OK and he would end up with a family that loves him and wants as much for him as they do.  In light of this, I felt the absolute least I could do was to meet them to hopefully bring a little solace to their hearts.  I wanted them to see for themselves that I am a good person who will do my very best by their/our child.

I don't know if I was effective at reaching my goal, but I hope so.

Crown Hotel - Post Party

I wrote an entry detailing the post-Crown Hotel activities.  After re-reading it several times and trying to fix it to convey the true atmosphere and camaraderie of the evening, I simply couldn’t do it.   If I do ever refine my literary skills to the level of Last Comic Standing, I will give it another go.

So a simple summary of the evening.  Tesfaye, the guesthouse families and one of the other visitors at the guesthouse gathered in the common area of the guesthouse.  It started out as just reviewing/looking at the digital photos I had taken.  One of the reviewers, not to be named, spent an inordinately long time admiring a photo of himself and his very nice teeth.  That basically instigated some teasing/joking that just snowballed from there.  (You only tease the people you like, right?) 

I had trouble catching my breath a couple times and my bladder was pulsing so hard I was sure I was going to pee my pants.  Considering how much baby/toddler urine I’d had on me the previous 5 days, I figured no one would notice.  At one point, I could actually feel my abdominal muscles cramping from laughing so hard. Wow!  If that’s all I have to do to get 6-pack abs, I’ll sign up for the program!

The aforementioned guy is handsome, does have nice teeth and was an awfully good sport about everything!